girl adventures:

"i totally like you in a gay way"


that is all


*ecstacy*

world of warcraft.

so i dated someone who was seriously into WoW.

as in, it would be his career if it could be.

now, during our time together

he made it VERY clear that he was just with me till a better offer came along.

and that wow was way more important than "us"

soooooo

naturally this meant two things

1) he's a dick.

and 2) our relationship was purely for sexual gratification.

so a few months later, i dumped his sorry boring ass cuz i was completely SICK of feeling like a piece of furniture.

a year plus later, and he still thinks he's in love with me.

he is wrong.

his true love will always be wow.

today, i was texing him out of boredom

he said he could only text me occasionally cuz he was raiding

so i said that occasionally meant i couldnt rely on him for a steady stream of entertainment.

he says "come watch?"

aaaah just like the good old days.

NOT.

so i said "no thanks, im content sitting in a restaurant by myself"

what i wanted to say was:

"i'd rather die alone than spend one more second of my life being ignored for a stupid computer game. fortunately for me i'm pretty enough to never be alone, so fuck you loser."

that or

"oh just like the good old days... oh wait i dumped you for that."

im too fucking nice sometimes.

i really wish i HAD said that.

ah well

thats life i suppose.


mood: depressed.

what to do, what to do, what to do?

i am having some issues.

(as usual)



1) my ex.

he says stuff that just GETS to me.

i hate that.


2) my body.

it reacts to certain people in very...

uncomfortable ways.

inconvenient ways.

example:

pure,

carnal,

animal,

Lust.

in the middle of the grocery store.

there is a time and a place for everything, and that is not the time or place to be getting all hot n' ready.


3) another ex.

a pseudo ex really,

an ex girlfriend

of sorts.

she totally hates me.

and its driving me crazy!

idk why it's bothering me so much, but it really eats at me that the one girl i shared that connection with won't even talk to me.

the awful part:

we "fell in love" while we were both dating the same guy.

yeah.

that's right.


4) there's this girl.

(a different girl)

she is the very last person on earth who would ever even consider me,

and she is wonderful.

an old friend.

someone i've always fancied, but never had a chance with.

and she wants to hang out and "catch up"

im going  to die.

its going to kill me.


mood: distracted.

EXs, instant messenger, and vodka.

the ex.

we talk sometimes

lately.

usually when he's been drinking.

which he does a LOT of, apparently.



instant messenger.

probably the 2nd bane of my existence.

(next to this stupid dog im taking care of. i am NOT a dog person.)

i love IMing

its fun

and it requires little or no effort.

but i hate how easily things get out of hand...



vodka.

a wonderful and terrible thing

which my ex likes to drink a lot.



the perfect storm.

all three combined = very no.

we laughed, we cried, (okay probably just he cried)

things got really awkward

he got bitter

and then sweet

and i tried not to encourage him

*"tried" being the operative word here

and ultimately, i learned something.

dont IM drunk ex boyfriends unless you want to spend the entire night peeping through your fingertips completely terrified of what mortifying thing he's gonna say next.

examples:

"you have 'stupidly-cute' in spades"

"you're a cunt"

"to be completely honest i want to club you like a baby seal and impregnate you behind the middle school"

"if you were with me you'd be home"

(referencing an Owl City song that i love)



out of context, they're bad enough


in context, i basically had no clue how to react.

which is why messenger is wonderful

cuz all he saw was "lol"

ke$ha, wild streak, and my baby sister

so apparently i have a bit of a wild streak lately.

cuz i hear ke$ha's (her music is a guilty pleasure) stupid songs about waking up still drunk from the night before,

and partying

and dancing

and telling guys to shut up cuz "im in love with this song"

and im just like


goddammit i wish i was her.

(for her party life, not her career. i usually like my career)

HOWEVER

my little sister

my BABY sister

(okay she's 14 or something)

was singing "tik tok"

and dancing to it...


i wanted to slit my wrists right there.

im like

"SWEETJESUSGIRLDOYOUKNOWWHATSHESAYSTHERE??DOYOUKNOWWHAT
THATMEANS?!STOPIT!!"

now,

ke$ha is a sexy bitch.

im definitely a (secret) fan and i have nothing against her personally, musically, artistically, or whatever.

but GOD.

i never want to hear her lyrics come out of my little sister's mouth again.

cuz that just makes me feel awful for even liking Ke$ha in the first place.







uuuuuuuuuuuuugh.


in other news, my ex has been talking to me.

we manage to be very civil

which is shocking.

cuz we are the two most bitter people on the planet.

i think we might actually enjoy talking to each other...

not really sure though.

cuz i only want to talk to him when my boyfriend isnt talking to me.

i am a terrible person probably.

this summer

sucks so far.

parties, tequila, and rockband.

an AWESOME combination.

i had about 8 ounces of tequila tonight, and a glass of rum.

my fingers keep lagging lol makes it difficult to type

feeeeeels good though

also found out that when im drunk im a real ass to my boyfriend.

go figure.